The Lord Turned and Looked

Week Three - Day 6

Today's Reading -- Luke 21:1 to Luke 22:71

Have you ever been in a situation where you did or said something publicly that drew a disapproving glance of someone important to you?  Perhaps as a child you misbehaved at a family gathering, and you could tell by the look on your mother or father's face that there would be consequences to your behavior? Even worse, you knew you had disappointed someone who loves you.  As adults we have all manner of relationships with spouses, friends, neighbors, bosses and coworkers.  We can feel the same tug on our soul when we have done something that hurts or denies something about our relationship with someone we care about or respect.  Looking them in the eye afterwards can be an awkward encounter.

What struck me in today's reading was the eyeball-to-eyeball moment that Peter had with Jesus when Peter had denied three times that he either knew or had been with Jesus.  This occurred after Jesus had been arrested and brought to the courtyard of the house of the high priest.  As Matthew and Mark's gospel account set the scene, this occurred while Peter was "outside" (Matthew) or "below" (Mark) the courtyard.  As Luke tells it, however, Peter is in the middle of the courtyard where Jesus is being held.   After Peter's third denial of Jesus the cock crowed, as Jesus had said it would, and "The Lord turned and looked at Peter" (22:61).  Only Luke provides this heart-wrenching personal moment between Peter and Jesus; not only for Peter to realize the gravity of what he has done, but at that exact moment to have to look into the eyes of the Son of God that he has denied!  I have never before caught the impact these seven words.  Luke has not left Peter's denial outside the earshot of Jesus or behind his back, but has brought it right into his presence.  To deny the one who is standing right before you is even more horrifying than doing it where you can't be seen or heard.  On the other hand, it certainly is more honest, in a perverted sort of way.  Why Peter, after such a performance, didn't just run away forever is hard to understand. 

No harder to understand, I guess, than the mercy of God that draws any of us back when we have sinned against God or our neighbor, for what we do is never done secret, nor is ever out of sight of our Lord.  As we are reminded in the Collect for Purity that is said at the beginning of most services of Holy Eucharist in the Episcopal Church, our God is the one "to (whom) all hearts are open, all desires known, and from (whom) no secrets are hid" (Book of Common Prayer, p. 355).